Akihiko catch-all!

[peripheries]

 

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week 4, saturday

[peripheries]

[Approaching where Akihiko is held... he looks bad. Sick. Upset. But not angry. He can't muster that up right now.]

[ziosar]

[Uf, the vibes from Kaworu do make Akihiko feel guilty. He'd sooner prefer Kaworu and everyone else to be furious]

You shouldn't be here if it makes you feel bad.

[peripheries]

If I were to run from it, I'd be a coward who can't face the reality before me.

[He tried to run and he just came back to cast the very vote he said he didn't want to cast.]

[ziosar]

...can't argue against that. [Akihiko shrugs] It's odd. For as long as I could remember, I thought I was the kind of person who thought that. Even when faced with certain death, I still wanted to fight.

Now I'm wondering if it's because I really wanted to face what's ahead, or if it's because I didn't want to feel cowardly.

[He's starting to feel that's an important distinction, really]

[peripheries]

...Is that why you're here? Because your nature was to fight and you couldn't resist? Because it was easier to fight?

[he hates this.]

[ziosar]

...I'm still trying to figure that out.

[Akihiko looks away. He'd look at the distance, but this place isn't all that big, really]

I haven't figured out how badly I was possessed, but I know that no matter what, me fighting Majima was what I'd have chosen to do no matter what. If I had to do something terrible, I'd want it to hurt and be as difficult as possible.

['How badly I was possessed', he says, but that's just him clinging to the hope that he seriously didn't go and take a life for apple reasons]

[peripheries]

But you don't want to do something terrible.

[Shouldn't that matter.]

[ziosar]

I'd be very disappointed in myself if I ever wanted to do something that terrible on purpose. If I did, then I'd barely know myself in the first place.

[Of course the Persona character is having a personal crisis]

[peripheries]

But now you're going to be punished anyway! For something you didn't want to do. It's different if it was a choice. A real choice.

[Damn.]