[It's Paul's turn to say it, setting aside the letter so he can take Kaworu's hand and squeeze it too-tight, slender bones pressed together through fragile skin.
He knows the cadence of that determination, fierce and grief-stricken. He tells Kaworu it's not his fault because it's true; he tells Kaworu it's not his fault and knows it doesn't matter, because Kaworu accepts Merlinus' disappearance the way Paul has accepted it, which is to say not at all.]
[When Paul takes his hand and squeezes it, he leans forward to bump his forehead against the other boy's.
Maybe he can't quite believe Paul when he says that what happened to the Old Man isn't Kaworu's fault, but he can believe this. He can believe there is something he can do to save the only father figure he's ever had and he can believe that, with Paul's help, they'll bring Illarion back. They fit well together. If someone can do it, it's the two of them.
He squeezes Paul's hand back, feeling the firmness of his fingers and the strength of his grip.]
no subject
[It's Paul's turn to say it, setting aside the letter so he can take Kaworu's hand and squeeze it too-tight, slender bones pressed together through fragile skin.
He knows the cadence of that determination, fierce and grief-stricken. He tells Kaworu it's not his fault because it's true; he tells Kaworu it's not his fault and knows it doesn't matter, because Kaworu accepts Merlinus' disappearance the way Paul has accepted it, which is to say not at all.]
It's going to be all right.
no subject
[When Paul takes his hand and squeezes it, he leans forward to bump his forehead against the other boy's.
Maybe he can't quite believe Paul when he says that what happened to the Old Man isn't Kaworu's fault, but he can believe this. He can believe there is something he can do to save the only father figure he's ever had and he can believe that, with Paul's help, they'll bring Illarion back. They fit well together. If someone can do it, it's the two of them.
He squeezes Paul's hand back, feeling the firmness of his fingers and the strength of his grip.]
We will.