Kaworu Nagisa | 渚 カヲル | ᴛʜᴇ ғɪғᴛʜ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
peripheries) wrote2021-10-04 01:18 pm
peripheries) wrote2021-10-04 01:18 pm
IC Contact
"Ah, you've reached Nagisa but I'm away from the communication device. I'll have to return your call at a later time".
voice || text || video || action
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["It's not your fault."
That's what Paul had said after another day Kaworu spent waiting for the return of the Old Man at the beach. He'd waited until the chill in the air made his hands hurt and the lockjoint on his arms return. Truthfully, he hadn't felt it.
Yet, he can't shake the feeling that it is his fault. Paul, he thinks, is being delicate, trying to spare him from hard feelings after already enduring suffering. It's thoughtful, but Kaworu feels like the thought is starting to decay him from inside out. Like a wound that was spared salt but never cleaned.
But now, this is something he can do. An opportunity to purge that feeling, to fix what went wrong, and to do something for someone that's done much for him. Even if it was easier to pretend not to notice than to show appreciation. This is his will and he will act on it.]
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[It's Paul's turn to say it, setting aside the letter so he can take Kaworu's hand and squeeze it too-tight, slender bones pressed together through fragile skin.
He knows the cadence of that determination, fierce and grief-stricken. He tells Kaworu it's not his fault because it's true; he tells Kaworu it's not his fault and knows it doesn't matter, because Kaworu accepts Merlinus' disappearance the way Paul has accepted it, which is to say not at all.]
It's going to be all right.
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[When Paul takes his hand and squeezes it, he leans forward to bump his forehead against the other boy's.
Maybe he can't quite believe Paul when he says that what happened to the Old Man isn't Kaworu's fault, but he can believe this. He can believe there is something he can do to save the only father figure he's ever had and he can believe that, with Paul's help, they'll bring Illarion back. They fit well together. If someone can do it, it's the two of them.
He squeezes Paul's hand back, feeling the firmness of his fingers and the strength of his grip.]
We will.