It's a difficult decision to make, leaving Rainsoar Forest, to join the frontlines of the war. You've worked so hard to join the Alchemy Commission, but. This is what you're called to do, you tell your master.
"While the Alchemy Commission is a good place to be, it is ultimately not compatible with my wish to practice medicine for the masses. The one place that requires a healer the most is undeniably the battlefield where the Yaoqing's forces are."
So - you leave your ship - the Xianzhou Yaoqing - and you head to the outer planets to join the efforts. All you've ever wanted to do is heal people, since you were small. This is what you wanted and you show up to the battleground with a vigor in your step, a determination to help. You improve your medicines - cauldron-based medicinal formulas that can be used in a multitude of ways, in order to adapt it to the increasingly challenging, complex, and unpredictable environments that the soldiers must brave. You win the trust of officers and soldiers alike, and your name is often uttered among the troops as someone worthy of respect, who knows what he's doing. You patch the dying, and they thank you, and then they march right back out to battle.
You patch them up. You save them from death. The bugle call for departure sounds off. And they march.
You patch them. They march. You patch them. They march.
Every day is the same, save for the number. Every night, there are less of the faces you know around your cauldron. You look up, and the foxian that called for you to give him an extra bowl last night is gone. One of the other soldiers, a quiet young woman with a bushy red tail, tells you he was found unresponsive on the battlefield yesterday evening, arms ripped from the sockets. The next evening, she's gone too. There wasn't enough of her left to bring back to the camp, they say. Terrible, terrible news. These young lives still end up lost in the endless, ravenous war. It doesn't matter what you do to stop it.
You do this for many years. Year after year, the faces were all different, yet they radiated the exact same vigor and hope. Year after year, only a handful ever make it back. It crawls up in your chest like a frost that will never melt. One day, as you're standing out in the middle of camp, trying to take in some fresh air, away from the smell of blood and rot, you hear screaming coming from one of the tents. Agonized wailing, calling for help, help me, help us, Jiaoqiu --
Before, you might have cried. It's only after blinking several times that you realize that both your eyes are dry. You no longer have any tears to shed. There's something comforting in the emptiness of it, and you sink down into it with relief. Nothing hurts if you don't have the energy to feel it.
Your General, a smart and fierce woman named Yueyu, brings you to her tent every night to discuss what's next. She tells you about a girl that she managed to rescue from a borisin camp, a ferocious former slave named Saran. She tells you that she wants you to look out for her. You tell her that you will do whatever Yueyu commands, even if something in you balks at the idea. It just sounds like... well, it sounds like Yueyu is giving you her will, that's all.
And then one day, the towering Cloudpeer Telescope that bore the wills of the trillions of living beings aboard the Xianzhou finally receives a response from THEM.
A searing blast appears out of nowhere, obliterating the weak Abominations of Abundance into a miasma of blood. A light so blindingly bright tears the sky dome asunder as the Reignbow Arbiter shows THEIR power against the Abundance. Mountains and hills that the light reaches turn into dust - abominations of Abundance and members of the Xianzhou Legion alike crumble and disintegrate, too slow to flee from the light of the arrow sent across the sky.
You heard about how the girl always by General Yueyu's side weaved in and out of the annihilated enemy ranks, attempting to bring the remaining soldiers back with her. Before the wave of light could reach them, you dash into the fray with every last ounce of your strength to save that young lady, before losing your consciousness in the afterglow of the obliterating light.
And in the chaos of the post battle healer's ground, this girl, the one from Yueyu's will, calls for you.
[Kaworu doesn't know what to make of it. He's heard of war and how humanity claims to hate it, only to fall back into it so easily like an addict, but he doesn't know war. In his mind, the battle between humans and angels, is not war. It's something that has a start and an end. It's not endless and circular.
He looks at Jiaoqiu.]
So you were a healer. You saved thousands only for them to return to the battlefield once more...?
But I was approached by my old master not long after, who told me there was a woman in need of my help. I soon thereafter became the right hand to General Feixiao.
[ so - the answer is he didn't break the cycle. he wandered right back into it. ]
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peripheries) wrote2025-02-10 07:42 pm
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Kaworu is looking at his distorted reflection with extreme displeasure. At the noise, he turns to face Jiaoqiu to see what he's talking about.]
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... ]
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He looks at Jiaoqiu.]
So you were a healer. You saved thousands only for them to return to the battlefield once more...?
[Is that how it works?]
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[ he corrects, but there's no heat to it. it's just a part of his identity. ]
... And yes. That is always how it's been. It's a healer's duty to make their soldiers fit to march again.
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[He moves his hand in a circular gesture indicating the circular nature of it all.]
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I retired because it began to feel useless. Like rescuing a fish from a boiling cauldron, only to watch it fight my hands to dive right back in.
[ so - yeah. it bothered him. ]
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[What does someone who lived through war do once they break the cycle?]
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[ hums. ]
But I was approached by my old master not long after, who told me there was a woman in need of my help. I soon thereafter became the right hand to General Feixiao.
[ so - the answer is he didn't break the cycle. he wandered right back into it. ]
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[What. Returning to war seems more logical than that!]
Were you any good at it?
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[He can see that, in a way.]
But it wasn't enough in the end?
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