[There is an extremely small teenager sitting at the bar with like... 10 bottles in front of him. He takes each other, picks it up, examines the bottle, shakes it a little, before opening the cap to smell it. He coughs and recoils at the scent.]
What is wrong with humans?
What is wrong with humans?
Edited 2025-02-11 01:32 (UTC)
[Sidling in just in time to catch a piece of this show, and pulling up to the bar in time to hear his desperate plea.]
Damn near everything. Would you like an itemized list?
[He will take one of the rejectees, now uncapped and losing market value by the minute.]
All right if I take one off your hands?
Damn near everything. Would you like an itemized list?
[He will take one of the rejectees, now uncapped and losing market value by the minute.]
All right if I take one off your hands?
I was raised to know what is wrong with them and sometimes I still can't believe them.
[He gives the man a once over.]
Are you sad and going to use that to damage your brain until you don't forget?
[He gives the man a once over.]
Are you sad and going to use that to damage your brain until you don't forget?
Excuse me? [Wow. Just wow.] Christ on a bike, kid, sometimes a guy just wants a refreshing beer. Depression is optional.
Isn't that why you drink this terrible tasting stuff? To feel better about things?
There's no one reason anybody does anything. Rule number one about humanity.
[He will take this beer. You do not deserve it. Also you are childshaped. He settles into a barstool with little more fuss and takes a sip for himself.]
We're mercurial things. Multi-faceted. Sometimes people drink to celebrate. Sometimes to cool off after a hard day's work. It's not always because you're down in the dumps.
Besides, it's a taste that grows on you. And if it's too bitter you can always do a cocktail — those have all the sugar and fruity flavours you could shake a stick at.
[He will take this beer. You do not deserve it. Also you are childshaped. He settles into a barstool with little more fuss and takes a sip for himself.]
We're mercurial things. Multi-faceted. Sometimes people drink to celebrate. Sometimes to cool off after a hard day's work. It's not always because you're down in the dumps.
Besides, it's a taste that grows on you. And if it's too bitter you can always do a cocktail — those have all the sugar and fruity flavours you could shake a stick at.
There's sugar ones?
[He leans and looks over the bar. Oh, the mixers? He hadn't realized what those were for.]
How can the drink make you feel both sad and happy? Those two emotions are quite far apart.
[He leans and looks over the bar. Oh, the mixers? He hadn't realized what those were for.]
How can the drink make you feel both sad and happy? Those two emotions are quite far apart.
Edited 2025-02-13 04:38 (UTC)
Sure are. [He thinks a moment. Then gets up and slips behind the bar.] What do you normally like, sweet-wise?
[Meanwhile they're going to get into it, huh?]
Didn't say it would do both at once. It can act as a depressive, true, but it's very individual. Some people are happy drunks, they get goofier, others get a little amorous. Or they get angrier.
But it also depends on the mood you go into it with. If you're drinking with good pals you're more likely to keep upbeat.
[Meanwhile they're going to get into it, huh?]
Didn't say it would do both at once. It can act as a depressive, true, but it's very individual. Some people are happy drunks, they get goofier, others get a little amorous. Or they get angrier.
But it also depends on the mood you go into it with. If you're drinking with good pals you're more likely to keep upbeat.
[THIS TEENAGER IS IN THE BAR BARFING INTO A POTTED PLANT.
There's like half a brightly colored drink left on the bar.]
There's like half a brightly colored drink left on the bar.]
[HELP I THOUGHT I MONDAY PREORDERED rushes in here, i'm okay to backtag this]
Oof, easy there.
[Richie will immediately fetch a glass of water and wet a clean towel, crouching at his side as he sets the glass down for now so he can pat a little at his back.]
Bad drink?
Oof, easy there.
[Richie will immediately fetch a glass of water and wet a clean towel, crouching at his side as he sets the glass down for now so he can pat a little at his back.]
Bad drink?
[I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING AND AM TRAVELING TODAY FEEL FREE TO NOT REPLY AND WE CAN DO SOMETHING ELSE MY BAD.]
Terrible.
[He flinches at the back pats but straightens a little after he settles and coughs.]
I don't understand it.
Terrible.
[He flinches at the back pats but straightens a little after he settles and coughs.]
I don't understand it.
[NO YOU'RE PERFECT SMOOCHES YOU! I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO COMFORT THIS STRANGE AND SHITTY TEEN ANGEL IN HIS TIME OF NEED. For all the good Richie can do him anyway.
He'll ease off quick, at least. Now that the kid's looking a little steadier.]
Well. Maybe the bar just isn't the place for you.
He'll ease off quick, at least. Now that the kid's looking a little steadier.]
Well. Maybe the bar just isn't the place for you.
...I'm trying to find a place for me. Nothing fits.
[He straightens, looking frustrated.]
[He straightens, looking frustrated.]
[He's at the bar again. Not to drink but to look for others to sit next to. Maybe Richie is here?]
[Extremely ill advised but yes, Richie is here. He hasn't ordered much, just a scotch on the rocks which is already half gone. His head is in his hand, elbow to the counter. He looks up when Kaworu approaches.]
You're not hoping third time's the charm, are you?
[How many times has he been testing this out]
You're not hoping third time's the charm, are you?
[How many times has he been testing this out]
Maybe. This seems like one of those times where you're supposed to drink, right?
[Or maybe to find a friend. Maybe he should have put the other piano in the bar. Little murder game Billy Joel.]
[Or maybe to find a friend. Maybe he should have put the other piano in the bar. Little murder game Billy Joel.]
[OUR BILLY JOEL. his eighties heart would be so happy...]
Could be. If you're gonna be sick don't feel obligated, you can grab a water or a soda just the same. I won't kick you out.
[Pats the stool next to him. Come on over you little weirdo.]
Could be. If you're gonna be sick don't feel obligated, you can grab a water or a soda just the same. I won't kick you out.
[Pats the stool next to him. Come on over you little weirdo.]
I won't get sick this time.
[He will! He's a baby... But he'll sit on the stool next to him anyway.]
[He will! He's a baby... But he'll sit on the stool next to him anyway.]
W3 WEDNESDAY (CW: descriptions of child murder, dismemberment)
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gutterbound
2025-03-06 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
[aw man we are back at it again at the funhouse, what are we doing here bro
Watching some uncomfortable discussions that's what.]
Watching some uncomfortable discussions that's what.]
[Oh. Mr. King.
Kaworu watches with his head tilted to the side. At first, he doesn't seem to connect that this boy is Richie... until he remembers being small himself and seeing that same boy. Then he wanders, looking at each of the other kids, observing their face and their mannerisms.
When it ends, Kaworu looks over.]
These people... they're all your friends?
[He says the last word with hesitancy, like he's not sure its the right one.]
Kaworu watches with his head tilted to the side. At first, he doesn't seem to connect that this boy is Richie... until he remembers being small himself and seeing that same boy. Then he wanders, looking at each of the other kids, observing their face and their mannerisms.
When it ends, Kaworu looks over.]
These people... they're all your friends?
[He says the last word with hesitancy, like he's not sure its the right one.]
Edited 2025-03-06 02:20 (UTC)
Yeah.
[Five of them, anyhow. There's a hole in the tableau where one more ought to be. Maybe finishing off the dregs of a beer, buttoned up to the neck and pale as the rest of them, but present. Alive.
He never got to see what Stanley grew up to be. Maybe now he'll never know.]
We were great pals when we were all ten or eleven. This was the first time we'd seen each other in about twenty-seven years.
[awkward conversation for it, but this place wasn't kind enough to show all the hilarity and shit-shooting that went on just before.]
[Five of them, anyhow. There's a hole in the tableau where one more ought to be. Maybe finishing off the dregs of a beer, buttoned up to the neck and pale as the rest of them, but present. Alive.
He never got to see what Stanley grew up to be. Maybe now he'll never know.]
We were great pals when we were all ten or eleven. This was the first time we'd seen each other in about twenty-seven years.
[awkward conversation for it, but this place wasn't kind enough to show all the hilarity and shit-shooting that went on just before.]
Because of what you were talking about? The murders? Seems like a strange topic to discuss amongst friends unless something was happening.
[Richie sighs.]
Yeah, well. Considering there was a similar rash of murders when we were kids, it was kind of a shocker to see things repeat nearly thirty years later.
Yeah, well. Considering there was a similar rash of murders when we were kids, it was kind of a shocker to see things repeat nearly thirty years later.
Do you know who caused the killings? Most normal people would leave that sort of thing to the police. Unless there was a reason the authorities couldn't be trusted.
[WHEREVER RICHIE MIGHT BE HE IS ASSAULTED BY THE MALAISE AND HORNINESS OF THE TEENAGE SPIRIT.]
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