[Kaworu returns the soft beats before his hand goes still as he continues to read. His entire body goes so rigid that one could snap him in half with little force. The knife between his ribs pushes harder, deeper, tearing through soft flesh until suddenly it feels like his chest is collapsing, tearing, twisting around that pain wedged so deeply.
He's barely even read more than a few sentences.
There's not enough air in the room. He tries to inhale and the pain constricts his lungs. He desperately tries to breathe in but there's nothing there. Just emptiness and that twisting pain. Or maybe there's too air. The air is too heavy, it clogs his throat and burns when he tries to inhale like smog. He can't breathe this. He can't breathe at all.
The room closes in around him, like there's nothing there but him and those letters on the page. The word "love" haunting like a specter as blackness blurs the edges of his visions. He even forgets Paul is there beside him. The weight of everything the letter stirs is impossible for him to hold. He feels like he's crumbling inwards or maybe just spilling out everywhere until there's nothing left of him at all.
Kaworu drops to his knees like a sinner praying before god, then onto his hands, the wood floor cold where his skin makes contact. He curls up, his forehead resting on his hands balled up together into a single fist.
("I didn't know you could pass out from breathing too hard." He'd once made that off hand remark to Shinji Ikari, as he walked out of the infirmary, put-out by the affair and little else.)]
cw: panic attack
He's barely even read more than a few sentences.
There's not enough air in the room. He tries to inhale and the pain constricts his lungs. He desperately tries to breathe in but there's nothing there. Just emptiness and that twisting pain. Or maybe there's too air. The air is too heavy, it clogs his throat and burns when he tries to inhale like smog. He can't breathe this. He can't breathe at all.
The room closes in around him, like there's nothing there but him and those letters on the page. The word "love" haunting like a specter as blackness blurs the edges of his visions. He even forgets Paul is there beside him. The weight of everything the letter stirs is impossible for him to hold. He feels like he's crumbling inwards or maybe just spilling out everywhere until there's nothing left of him at all.
Kaworu drops to his knees like a sinner praying before god, then onto his hands, the wood floor cold where his skin makes contact. He curls up, his forehead resting on his hands balled up together into a single fist.
("I didn't know you could pass out from breathing too hard." He'd once made that off hand remark to Shinji Ikari, as he walked out of the infirmary, put-out by the affair and little else.)]